Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Lines to be Drawn

It’s pouring heavily outside as I sit at my workstation and pretend to be working and writing something of utmost importance that would benefit the organization when in fact my mind is clearly thousands of miles away.

I like to listen to the sound of the pouring rain, accompanied by Johnny Tillotson’s  Rhythm Of The Rain.

I keep visualizing knots and lines. How do we know where to draw the line when there’s a very fine line in knowing where do draw the line?

Do you get what I’m saying? Let’s just pretend that  you do.

Can I share a story with you on this rainy Tuesday afternoon where the rain is pouring outside and you wish you could just jump silly and try to catch the rain? I wish I could.

There is a story that is going through my mind right now. A story where the husband brought his girlfriend into his marital  home during a time when the wife was back in their hometown. It was also a story where the husband went away to UK for a month and took his girlfriend with him, leaving his wife and their 3 kids, the youngest one being only 6 months old, high in an apartment, where if you stand on the balcony of this said particular apartment,  you can see the twin towers and a highway with a steady stream of cars inching along ever so slowly.

This story is laced with bitter anecdotes of the husband telling his wife that she hasn’t been a good mother to their children, that home for him became hell and that was the reason why he needed to seek solace in the arms and comforts of a girl he met in a karaoke lounge. There was a short chapter in the story where the husband had one of his friends to give the wife a call and tell her that he is acting upon instructions given by the husband which is to look for an apartment to be ready upon his return from the UK. He is moving out but he doesn’t want out, yet. Or perhaps he does?

I keep thinking of this story. I ask myself, where should the lines be drawn? You see, I might have differing views because I am simply looking at it from a single girl in KL’s point of view. My views are simple, hurt me and lose me. But that would not be practical now would it? Because obviously marriage needs a lot more work than that. A lot more sacrifice you say, bucket load of tears. Think of the children you say. I wouldn’t know..because I am not married some say therefore I can’t be objective about it.

But then again, I’m thinking that I don’t need to be married to know that I don’t deserve to be treated like scum, or worse  like a  fungus. The fungus the feeds upon the scum.

Then please, do pray tell, because I haven’t got a clue, if I was playing the wife in the story, where do I draw the line? Or maybe there is no line to be drawn? I should just embrace the bitterness and fight for what is mine to begin with?

Fight until all dignity and pride is drained out?


Hazrey said...

ermm.. that is a hard question.

you see, he is married with 3 kids. kalau perempuan tu tak tahu jaga anak, dari mana datang 3 orang tu? tanggungjawab? my ass.

the husband should draw the line, NOT the wife. I know because I am myself, a husband. My job requires me to mingle with lots of people, that includes women. Hotties too. But, if you know yourself where to draw the line, you wouldnt be falling into the same trap. I pray to God I won't.

Then again Cinta, not all men macam tu, altho kekadang nafsu mendahului akal mereka. But it takes two to tango kan.

Kekadang when a wife dah buat memacam pun, laki tak pernah rasa cukup. Gosh, I pray to God that I treasure her, always.

get married Cinta. Give yourself an opportunity to learn life.

Sir Pök Déng said...

Bila lelaki dah jumpa yang baru, yang lama tu dia nak buang. Macam-macam alasan dia akan beri.

Believe me, lama-lama dia akan cari balik.

However there's one more thing that a married woman told me. Even if you have kids, utamakan suami dulu. Layan dia masa makan, and so on. Kemudian baru kids.

It's two-way effort. However in this particular case, I think that suami is a jerk.

Bulan said...

Hampeh tul husband dia tu...typical men, I would say. Bagi saya, takde salahnye lelaki nak cari lagi satu, tapi biarlah adil dan layanan pada isteri tu jgn la berkurang. Ini tidak, kalau dgn gf bukan main lembut tapi dgn bini, menengking2. Sape yg tak makan ati kalau mcm tu.

Cinta said...

If only more men are like then the thought of getting married wouldnt be so scary to singles like me...

Pok Deng Sir,
I agree, its a two way effort, the wife has her kekurangan but really, another women?? thats not a fair deal..

I wouldnt say typical men, tapi tu la...membuatkan i jadi cynical to love and marriage

Dottie with Dots said...

replacing the wife with someone you met at karaoke lounge?


Cinta said...

I second that pbthhhhsgtt

pakmat said...

..salam cinta..its not that easy, lady..but then, marriage is never easy..its finding common grounds whilst appreciating and respecting the differences..sometimes its the husbands..sometimes the wives..survival has always been a touch and go situation..putting blame is easy..but putting blame will not solve anything..there will always be bad there are those that endure and mellow until the last sunset..for as long as men are men and girls are girls, scenarios such as you painted will always be played out..but it is not a reason for choosing celibacy..hardly..and it should not be an excuse to pull down that shutters and close shut those doors..just keep a wary eye..there are many good men out there that will last the distance..:)
..have a nice day..

Disgusted said...

then bila dua2 dah muak, they leave each other and husband rayu balik pada isteri and buat muka seposen, and use the most powerful reason - tak kesiankan anak2 ke...

kesian si isteri, atas dasar anak2, menerima suami seadanya walaupun suami tu dah buat ngan org lain. cuba kalau isteri yg buat. kita akan dianggap kotor dan jijik.

so, again, who shud draw the line?

Cinta said...

Pak Mat,
you do make sense but being weary has made me become cynical as well...:)

I guess it depends individually, if it were me, i would have drawn the line at having another women in my home