Selamat Hari Raya

Yes its that time of the year again...a time for forgiveness and for the past 7 years it has been the time of the year when my savings account dwindles faster than you can say " maaf zahir batin"due to my long list of little cousins waiting eagerly every raya morning for their " duit raya"*sigh* Each year, the list seems to only be getting longer. It only seemed like yesterday when I was on the receiving end :) which is much more fun.

At this age, I am no longer excited about the new baju kurung for raya or all the yummy raya spread (ketupat, rendang, lontong) Nowadays I hardly bother to buy anything new..mostly due to the time constraint and the thought of having to hustle in shopping complexes gives me nightmares. I used to have my mom to worry about all the buying etc...Now..I am just looking forward of going back to Johor to be with the whole crazy clan. Mi familia that is.. the sounds of the little ones yelling and screaming, running around the house on top of their lungs with their "sampin" halfway down to the knees and songkok tilted sideways with their kuih tat in one hand which on any other day would give me a massive headache but in the spirit of raya..I’ll let it slip :)

And of course, going back to Pontian for Hari Raya would not be complete with the subtle hints by relatives on either two things. Marriage and my weight. I pay tribute to distant relatives whom I only see once a year and each year without fail they would say " you have put on weight! diet la!" Ready, aim, shoot!

I still remember those days in school...waiting eagerly hoping that cute guy would send me a raya card :)And how can I ever forget that when you go for terawikh everynite..its mainly because you actually want to "main bunga api" with all ur friends in the compound of the mosque and its when the guys get to throw those mini firecrackers at you. I think it was one of those weird things guys do to show that they're interested in you :)

Now when my friends are spread all over the country, and I only hear from them occasionally but when a raya card creeps into the mailbox,I get all sentimental and mushy mushy inside because they still remember me. 

However, this year will be the first Raya that we will not not be going back to Pontian. No more driving around with my father and sisters in Pontian trying to kill time before buka. No more trying to sneak out and driving off to JB just to run away from the endless chores of dishwashing and  countless refills of the kuih raya and stirring kilo’s of sugar for drinks. We will be welcoming Syawal in KL this year. Grandmother is already here. It feels kind of weird though, this being not going back to Pontian for Hari Raya.

But wherever you will be celebrating your Hari Raya, Selamat Hari Raya dear friends..Maaf zahir batin..hope you'll have a good raya with your family. Drive safe you hear?

Selamat Hari Raya.

Que Sera Sera

First and foremost, I am not Cik Normah. Tang mana did I hint that I am Cik Normah?  Cik Normah is a columnist from Berita Harian. I don’t do write ups for Malaysian artists. Well, any artist for that matter. Unless it’s essentially necessary for me to do so.   Having said that, let’s get back to life.

Where was I? Oh yes. The little girl that I met.

I came late for Terawikh a few nights ago. All huffy and puffy from the short brisk walk from home to the surau. So there I was, late and all, taking my place standing at the very last saf in the midst of all these much much younger girls with little strawberries and fruits and flowers sewn on their telekung. Mine definitely paled in comparison.

I sat next to a girl with the little strawberries. She has the prettiest round eyes with long curly lashes.

As we sat waiting for prayers to begin, I watched her watch me fidgeting around with my keys. I carry around a bunch of  keys that would put a school janitor to shame. If there were keys for keys, I think I might have them.

The little girl with the strawberries looked up while at the same time I was thinking of having those little strawberries sewn to my telekung as well.

“Akak ada kereta?”

“Ada la..kenapa?”

“akak dah kerja?”

“dah…”

“Mesti best kan, dah besar, boleh ada kereta sendiri, dah kerja boleh beli macam macam. Tak sabar nak besar!” So the little girl with the strawberries determinedly said with a twinkle in her eyes.

I remember when I was about her age. Parading around the front porch in my mother’s working shoes and an imaginary handbag dangling from my left arm. I would  criss-cross the graveled path in front of the house, pretending I was crossing the streets of KL. All grown up. All confident and all tres chic. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Now that I am here, all grown up, confidence level would vary depending on situations and not that very tres chic mind you, I looked at the girl with strawberries and tried to think of something inspiring to say and ended up saying something lame as “belajar la rajin rajin, nanti dapat kerja best boleh beli apa je” Having heard myself say that, I wish that the earth would swallow me up. How typical-orang dah besar-kind of response was that.  When what I actually wanted to say was this;

Don’t be in a rush to grow up just yet because you have to start paying your own bills, the car doesn’t run on its own and owning one is more of a necessity and it starts to become a royal pain on your behind. The phone line doesn’t come for free and  girlfriends wouldn’t be so easily accessible once we’ve all grown up. You actually need to make appointments 2 weeks in advance just to schedule a lunch date. You’d start to miss those days when your friends are just a yell away. You can always show up at their doorstep unannounced and be rest assured that your friend will be there.  You also start to worry about gravity and it’s pull on your body down south. 

Sometimes little girl, grown ups become so jaded with the small pleasures in life. Like splashing around in the rain, or dribbling hot chocolate down their chin, or finding that free gift from the cereal box. You don’t get to play galah panjang anymore, or baling selipar every evening at 6 with your friends. You don’t feel the same giddy happiness you felt when your neighbourhood bai roti  came honking pass your house. Horses or rabbits don’t make us squeal in delight anymore. Grown ups worry too much. Grown ups are sometimes cranky, and have terrible mood swings like me. Heartbreaks will either break you, or make you stronger. But either way, heartbreaks break the heart.

So the girl with the strawberries, don’t grow up too fast.The future will be there waiting for you, come rain or shine. Enjoy running around and screaming at the top of your lungs just because you can and nobody would think that you’ve lost a marble  because once you’ve grown, you can never go back. Don’t grow up too fast because I need to slow down and enjoy my life as well.

But it isn’t all that bad, when you’re a grown up, you get to drink endless cups of coffee every morning and have ice cream whenever you feel like it.

Life is good, let’s just slow it down a bit.

Dear Cik Normah

I’m fine now. Emosi sudah kembali stabil. I reckon I was experiencing a bout of catatonic mood swing. Happens only to the best of us.

Original entry post mood swing is supposed to be about this little girl I met during Terawikh but I’ll get to that later. Promise promise.

Tonight, allow me to rant and rave. It’s part of the 12 step post mood swing recovery process.

Dear Kak Normah of Berita Harian,

I read your little piece today. Of Ain or is it Ekin getting married after Aidilfitri to a duda anak 3.

Kak Normah, correction.

The guy in the picture is no duda. He is very much still married. He has 3 beautiful children, 2 boys and a girl, and a very down-to-earth wife who is very loyal to him.

Ain is very much delusional. Or perhaps just desperate to be married to a rich man. Yes kak Normah, the man in the picture is extremely rich. Yet again, I would like to stress that he is STILL married. She’s about to break up a family.

No kak Normah. I’m not doing this out of spite or out of raving jealousy. It made me queasy reading how you wish them all the luck in the world because you see…take away his millions, I doubt he would be that much attractive in the eyes of what-ever-her-name-is. Serious.

I could actually care less of who the plastic look-a-alike wants to marry and spend her happily ever afters with. I just despise the fact that she’s splattering it all over the papers for all to see. Regardless of how his wife and kids might feel.

Just for fun, let’s imagine that Mawi is doing the exact same thing she’s doing. 

Having ranted and raved, allow me to go back into a zen-like state of mind.