Monday, May 17, 2010

A bundle of joy.

I was actually surprised when my twitter alerted me of your presence, cause I have always had this image that you hated my guts. But, welcome…you are always welcomed into this crazy world of mine.

So I heard of the arrival of your bundle of joy. Initials HR. It’s a beautiful name. I couldn’t be happier for you and your lovely wife. No, I haven’t seen her pictures but I’m positive that little Ms. HR is as beautiful as her mother.

So you’re a father now? Wow…a huge responsibility that is, but I have faith that little HR will grow up beautifully because she has beautiful and loving parents, who will guide her and teach her from right to wrong.

Congratulations once again. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful  family.

The heart of the matter

heart_splash

What is the English equivalent to the word “terpanggil”? Called? I have been called to write an entry on…that sounds so jarring. Like something is missing.

In midst's of late night phone conversations and endless text messaging with friends, one conversation stood out among the rest. She asked me quite simply, how would you know that he is The One?

That got me dumbfounded for a moment. To say honestly, yes I have this imaginary long check list of criteria’s that would indicate that he is The One. Good and stable  job, so that my future children wouldn’t be heartbroken if we couldn’t afford to take them out to McDonalds, good looking, to ensure that our future children would come out looking like Shiloh, but that I know is a bit too far fetched. Other criteria’s would also include a house in Kenny Hills or maybe Desa Park City, and a stash of savings under his name with at the very least would be six digits. But that is the materialistic side of me talking, the vain part where I want to be one of KL’s socialite. Earth to Cinta. This is me being real, and honest.

I have done my fair share of the dating scene in KL. I have had really nice dates, RM200 lobsters for dinner, a drive around town, just using that quiet us moments to get to know each other better, and I have also experienced disastrous ones like what I’ve written in previous posts, and even ones that have lead to something even more profound and meaningful, these dates turning out to be among  my closest confidants, like the Pak Arab Celup.

I have also been in relationships when it was just so tiring to be in one. I lost who I am, or was, just to ensure that he would be happy with me, moulding me to his definition of perfection. It’s suffocation to be on my toes all the time, afraid that I’ll be skating on thin ice. even the simplest task of sending a text message would be daunting, afraid that my sentences are grammatically incorrect or for forgetting the proper use of capitalization and what not. I’ve been there, done that.

Then,as I was talking this friend it suddenly occurred to me that, when push comes to shove, at the end of the day, the core of the isssue, the essence of it is  what matters most to me is that the person would know how to make me smile and laugh after going through a bad day. He would just listen, even though I don’t even say a single word. Not saying a single word and yet he would understand as if I have spoken entire volumes to him.

He doesn’t push or prod, but just patiently sits there, and makes me laugh because seeing me smile and laugh is all that matters to him. 

I could be wrong, but that’s how I see it and that’s how I feel about it, from a Single-in-KL’s point of view.

No, I still haven’t found him. But I’m hopeful.

p/s: It might be because I’m in so much pain right now,  therefore my entry tends to be a lil bit melodramatic. But then again, when haven’t I been that?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Run Wild With Me

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

Today, we smile

Don’t tell anybody that I’m spending a quiet hour here in a secluded corner of Coffee Bean in MidValley, instead of being in the office. I have a few hours to spare after my appointment and before I am expected to be back at the office, and thought I might as well drop by and try to finish an article. I work better in a less formal environment. Excuses excuses.

You know how sometimes that in books, in Hallmark cards and philosophers or anybody with a cheerful disposition will keep on telling us that the best things in life are free, but only if we are willing to look hard enough.

I found my reason to smile this morning, not that I was not smiling before but I’m giving it some extra watts today, lighting it up a bit more.

As I was typing away, eyes wondering and roaming around at the same time, I noticed a young couple sitting outside, a Malay girl and a Chinese guy enjoying their morning coffee and perhaps playing rookie as well just as yours truly is.

It was nice watching them together, holding hands under the table, and laughing, with each other. It’s a great way to start a day. To be with the one that makes you smile and laugh.

If I look around me, there are so many reasons and so many small little things that can turn a gray sky to blue, if I can stop being cynical and judgemental and just enjoy things that makes other happy, I have realized that it doesn’t take much to get that warm glowing and tingling feeling inside.

It’s those small and simple things like today, a morning cup of coffee, freshly baked bagel with cream cheese, a glass of hot chocolate with tiny marsh mellows floating in it, and Michael Buble playing in the background.

Let go, breathe and smile. 

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...