Monday, May 17, 2010

The heart of the matter

heart_splash

What is the English equivalent to the word “terpanggil”? Called? I have been called to write an entry on…that sounds so jarring. Like something is missing.

In midst's of late night phone conversations and endless text messaging with friends, one conversation stood out among the rest. She asked me quite simply, how would you know that he is The One?

That got me dumbfounded for a moment. To say honestly, yes I have this imaginary long check list of criteria’s that would indicate that he is The One. Good and stable  job, so that my future children wouldn’t be heartbroken if we couldn’t afford to take them out to McDonalds, good looking, to ensure that our future children would come out looking like Shiloh, but that I know is a bit too far fetched. Other criteria’s would also include a house in Kenny Hills or maybe Desa Park City, and a stash of savings under his name with at the very least would be six digits. But that is the materialistic side of me talking, the vain part where I want to be one of KL’s socialite. Earth to Cinta. This is me being real, and honest.

I have done my fair share of the dating scene in KL. I have had really nice dates, RM200 lobsters for dinner, a drive around town, just using that quiet us moments to get to know each other better, and I have also experienced disastrous ones like what I’ve written in previous posts, and even ones that have lead to something even more profound and meaningful, these dates turning out to be among  my closest confidants, like the Pak Arab Celup.

I have also been in relationships when it was just so tiring to be in one. I lost who I am, or was, just to ensure that he would be happy with me, moulding me to his definition of perfection. It’s suffocation to be on my toes all the time, afraid that I’ll be skating on thin ice. even the simplest task of sending a text message would be daunting, afraid that my sentences are grammatically incorrect or for forgetting the proper use of capitalization and what not. I’ve been there, done that.

Then,as I was talking this friend it suddenly occurred to me that, when push comes to shove, at the end of the day, the core of the isssue, the essence of it is  what matters most to me is that the person would know how to make me smile and laugh after going through a bad day. He would just listen, even though I don’t even say a single word. Not saying a single word and yet he would understand as if I have spoken entire volumes to him.

He doesn’t push or prod, but just patiently sits there, and makes me laugh because seeing me smile and laugh is all that matters to him. 

I could be wrong, but that’s how I see it and that’s how I feel about it, from a Single-in-KL’s point of view.

No, I still haven’t found him. But I’m hopeful.

p/s: It might be because I’m in so much pain right now,  therefore my entry tends to be a lil bit melodramatic. But then again, when haven’t I been that?

4 comments:

The Tea Drinker said...

the word ur probably lookin for is 'compelled'.

and on a lighter side, you'd know ur looking at The One if it had Jet Li in it *drum roll*. yes. throw ur tomatoes.

Dottie with Dots said...

Luv, men that have traits like you've tabled up there are like Norwegian lemmings. They're extinct.

Sir Pök Déng said...

Maybe 'longing' is the correct expression? I don't know. After reading through all the paragraphs, in which part does 'terpanggil' comes to play? Did I miss few lines?

Anyway miss, thanks for convincing me a thing about women. You all look at every aspect a [real] man should have. Money sometimes is the utmost priority.

Permission to add another criteria to the long lists you've written in your personal note, which is: ilmu agama.

I do wonder how many jantan these days are lack of religious knowledge, like, pakai rantai takpe janji loketnya bukan kulit babi.

Pill Pusher said...

There's no way knowing whether she/he's the one from the first few meetings. True colours will only be un-veiled after few months.