Monday, June 14, 2010

The-Mad Hatter Cinta

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

The Cheshire cat, Alice in Wonderland.

I’ve caught myself being judgmental over another person one too many times. A simple glance, an odd phrase, an out of place character, an odd-sounding sneeze and Mr. Hyde will take form and start to preside over my thoughts. Dark, smoky and venomous thoughts cloud around my judgment.

However, the Mr. Hyde side of me has been undergoing intensive therapy for the past two years. Countless hours have been invested, trying to eliminate Mr. Hyde, training to think positive thoughts. Bucketful of negative vibes have also been hurled out the window, sending it fluttering away against the wind to a land far far away undiscoverable by humans, unknown and unheard of.

A conversation with a friend however had me pausing and reflecting in the midst of busy mid-week rush hour traffic. I distinctly remember arguing and trying to weasel my way out of another attempt at matchmaking. Only this time, no aunts or makciks are involved. Only a few friends, who will be getting a cut of commission from the dowry money if things decide to work out well and on that note, I need an escape plan if things do work out unexpectedly well. I made that offer a very long time ago, when I was much younger, none the wiser and most probably high on the sugar rush from unlimited amounts of ice lemon tea on a night out with the ladies and marriage was a coveted fairytales-do-come true occasion amongst us singles. Well now that I’m way PAST that phase...

So as I sat there, listening to why I should do it and laying down pathetic reasons why I should not, among them being; what if he likes to eat fried chicken legs with mayonnaise? Or he likes to wear selipar jepun on a weekend to The Curve? He listens to Backstreet Boys and memorizes every one of their songs or maybe he has manicured and pedicured nails, and prefers to eat his barbecued chicken wings with a fork and knife instead of doing the manly thing and use his fingers? Maybe he likes to name drop and brags about the time he played golf with some royalty or maybe just maybe, he likes to read Ahadiat Akashah and Judith McNaught romance novels?

I stopped mid way when it suddenly dawned on me, there I was, being judgmental when I have yet to even lock eyes with the person, when it actual truth, I am the one with the weird quirks and idiosyncrasies.
I have a record of scaring away dates with preaches on the sanctity of marriage and how utterly important it was for a spouse to be loyal, on a FIRST date. For crying out loud, who does that on a first date?!!

I have also had the gut-foolish (I just invented that word) to give out fashion and hair advice which I am positively certain it came out sounding rather condescending, which wasn’t my intention in the first place. I am rude as I pick up calls in the middle of dinner, I like to play with my straw, and I sometimes forget my manners when I place my elbows on the table. I am foolish enough to do that on dates.Any takers? To compensate for my lack of social grace, I believe I cook a mean asam pedas. Nobody will ever be hungry when I’m around. My friends can vouch for that.

The thing is this, it got me thinking, I’m not even sure if I got my point across; I cannot judge a person to a set of beliefs or try to conform them to a mould which I believe is politically or socially correct or incorrect, whichever way it is. Sometimes, I don’t even know right from wrong, what is accepted and what is not. Most of the times, I’m just being myself. I listen to Craig David and I think he’s hot, I love watching sappy romantic movies and even have The Holiday stored in my iPod, some people can’t handle that. Too much romance they say.  I like to bite my lips and stare off into space when I’m thinking, and I can’t get my act together-don’t know what to order in posh restaurants. Apart from that, I love my pink selipar jepun and I think they’re funky and I like flopping them around One Utama and The Curve every weekend. Oh, watch out for my hand gestures when I talk, cause I do a lot of that as well, to the point of overdoing it. Hope my friends aren’t embarrassed by that, as I have been prone to hit a few innocent passersby with those extreme acts of self expression.

So, I was thinking, if I promise to accept you as you are, will you accept me as I am, weird and clueless at times? Life would be dull without us filling it with odd and uncanny quirks and idiosyncrasies. I say, bring on the friend chicken legs and the Backstreet singing boys and the well manicured nails,  we're all mad here. ;-) So says the grinning cat.


Dottie with Dots said...

we all have flaws... that what makes us special from the rest... let me share mine, i chew gums when i'm bored even if it hurts my jaw. i sometimes have sarcastic humor, i dont like protocols, i wear selipar jepun when i wear selipar jepun, i'm utterly independent (some men perplexingly find it offensive), i try to show people that i'm strong but i actually do cry myself to sleep. There you go... some of my many flaws.

I love this post of yours! Kudos!

Cinta said...

Hey Dots,

I recall an acquaintance asking a friend of mine what "kudos" meant, to which she jokingly replied "coklat kandos yang kau makan masa kecik kecik dulu" :)I find that hillariously funny. Weird kan?

Anonymous said...

Hi there, it's me your anonymous friend again. I had a 'karipap' for breakfast. It's a karipap because it's so simple looking, thin crust, bulging with a very minimal amount of potatoes fillings. I would call it a curry puff if it had layers of crossaint like thingy, 'gebu' and all those layers will fly off your mouth at the first bite, and juicy fillings.

Why do I have such judgement?
You tell me.

Cinta said...

Waiting for the day that you will be a non-anonymous friend.

I like my karipap to be karipap instead of currypuffs actually. I dont know why but the karipap would remind me of a Sharifah Aini movie "Hapuslah Airmatamu" when her mother made her karipap and she threw them away. I felt so sad that eversince then I have been eating karipap to make it up to her mother. How bout that?

Anonymous said...

That is a quick response. I like my karipap to be a karipap too, since the curry puff is an english word for an english dish. So when I eat a karipap I bought from the stalls at the roadside, I will call them karipap because i dont think a lady named Elizabeth or Dorothy made them.

Your preferences is yours to decide. What you choose to like are too. We are mad in our own world. And we are in bliss fot that.

And so are the girls and the boys that walk pass by us each and every day.

If your like and mine are the same; then there is no reason to wake up and explore the world.

Cinta said...

Anon, I find this quote most apt.
"We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic.
Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings,
different hopes, different dreams."
Jimmy Carter

Dottie with Dots said...

may i chip in?? saje nak nyibuk. I like another quote that says 'i'd rather be despised for my character than be liked for the lacking of it'. Aint quite sho where its from but I love that quote.

Cinta said...

Have you ever watched "Everything about Steve" starring Sandra Bullock?